Why I Will Never Buy Another JRPG

Today I was sitting in my room reading the latest issue of GameInformer, and something in the issue really hit home for me.

It was intended to be a humorous article, as the lovely folks at GI often publish, but much of it actually rings true. It's essentially a flow chart of what they refer to as "every RPG ever." I would title it more accurately "every JRPG ever."

Though much of the flow chart is supposed to be funny, the unfortunate fact is that most of it is true, and most of it applies to every JRPG I've ever played.

It's always Amnesia followed by a ritual, followed by some sort of devastating reason to set out on a journey, followed by a Boss you will probably encounter again later, followed by many hours of grinding and acquiring new crap, followed by massive plot twist, followed by more grinding and finishing up sidequests, followed by a seemingly endless final boss sequence.

Seeing this all laid out in front of me brought me to the epiphany that I actually hate JRPGs. I started thinking about the countless hours I've spent in front of them over the years, and I realized that the only JRPG I ever finished was the Final Fantasy III remake for NDS. And that took me a year. I really forced myself to finish that game.

Then I thought about the JRPGs I never finished:

Final Fantasy 1&2 - GBA
Final Fantasy 4 - NDS
Rogue Galaxy - PS2
DQM: Joker - NDS
Final Fantasy 10 - PS2
Final Fantasy 7 - PS
Tales of Symphonia - GCN
and most recently Final Fantasy 13 - PS3.



Then I thought about my overall RPG experience over the years, and all the games I've loved and completed.

Icewind Dale 2 - PC
Diablo - PS
Diablo 2 - PC
Baldur's Gate + Expansions - PC
Baldur's Gate - PS2
X-Men Legends 2 - PS2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance - PS2
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 - PS3
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 1 & 2 - PC
The Elder Scrolls 4 Oblivion - PC
Mass Effect - PC
and my absolute favorite RPG of all time: Neverwinter Nights, which I just started a new game on after almost 10 years of playing it.



Notice anything? NO JRPGs on my completed list. It's not manufactured. It's the truth. I always go buy these "critically acclaimed," or classic JRPGs because I feel like I should like them. And I'll admit that they can be temporarily entertaining, but in retrospect, the sheer unoriginality of them makes me realize that there is very little fresh gaming to be done in JRPGs. The RPGs I've completed and love strive to break from the norms of JRPGs by providing deeper plots, more meaningful choices, and more colorful characters. JRPGs are just rehashed content and the same plot over and over again with a new coat of paint. Well I say f*** 'em. I'm going in tomorrow and trading in my copy of DQ IX, and I don't think I will ever get another JRPG again.